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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,887

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Spotted on Facebook:

I think my type is a nice person.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Seen just now on Twitch:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Trending via Threads:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Making waves on Telegram:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Bring back the days of dueling and dramatically flinging gloves! 🧤🤺🤣

days, empty, enough, glove, humor, people, sarcasm, slap

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

1 month ago

healing, humor, i, inventor, irony, linear, medical, much, tell
No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

2 months ago

anxiety, clench, fun, grind, humor, i, jaw, just, sarcasm, stress, teeth
Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

2 months ago

20s, 40s, age, aging, diagnosis, early, early 20’s, even, humor, i, late, late stage, self-deprecation, stage
So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

1 month ago

across, adult, adult behavior, baby, behavior, bottle, crawling, cute, floor, funny observation, humor, i, intervention, need, observation
So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

1 month ago

before, died, Elvis, Lego, mama, movie, sad
Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

1 month ago

alone, alone time, anyone, apps, delete, detox, detoxification, digital, digital detox, digital detoxification, girl, happiness, health, isolation, mental, mental health, phone, self-care, solitude, sometimes, speak, time, true, week

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Being strange is exhausting.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Going viral on TikTok:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Spotted on Instagram:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Making waves on Telegram:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

Breaking via X:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

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People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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