Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,283

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Just shared via Discord:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Trending via Instagram:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Freshly posted on Threads:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Spotted on WeChat:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Going viral on TikTok:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Trending via TikTok:

I need to consult the woods about this.

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, yes, the age-old debate: Pee before shower or the multitasker special? 🚿😂🚽

before, hygiene, pee, peeing, people, question, shower, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

0

5 months ago

after, balance, bell, diet, drive, exercise, fast, fast food, fitness, food, healthy, healthy lifestyle, humor, i, lifestyle, say, taco, Taco Bell, through, working, workout
Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

0

2 months ago

cast, empowerment, gender, giant, humor, man, men, only, pit, power, right, sarcasm, serpent, smile, tell, thing, us, venomous, venomous serpent, want, woman, women
It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

0

2 months ago

break, face, humor, introvert, just, need, party, social, talking, wall
If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

0

2 months ago

assertiveness, comma, control, grammar, humor, i, punctuation, put, want, writing
The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

0

2 months ago

brain, delete, female, female brain, gone, humor, internet, memory, never, never gone, psychology, something, works
I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

0

2 months ago

am, expression, face, honesty, humor, i, reaction, responsibility, talk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Discord this month:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

88 shares on Discord this month:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Spotted on X:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Trending via Facebook:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Making waves on Snapchat:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Going viral on X:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

Shared recently on Telegram:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Breaking via Telegram:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨