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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Live now on Twitch:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Seen just now on Reddit:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Going viral on TikTok:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Just landed via X:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Trending via WeChat:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Just landed via Twitch:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hydration? Sounds like witchcraft to me! 💧🧙‍♂️😂

drink, health, humor, hydration, people, remember, reminder, self-care, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

0

2 months ago

appearance, beauty, effort, humor, know, looking, much, regular, self-deprecation, vanity
The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

0

5 months ago

abbreviation, b, brand, brand name, care, dental, dental care, Funny, humor, me, name, oral, Oral B, question, stand, toothpaste, WTF
If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

0

5 months ago

accident, chance, corner, delivery, door, falling, fast, fast turn, humor, i, open, too, turn, ups, work
I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

0

4 months ago

belief, believe, Bigfoot, creature, humor, i, me, mutual, mutual belief, mythical, mythical creature
If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

0

2 months ago

alone, backwards, comedy, healing, home, home alone, kid, love, men, movie, perspective, story, watch
Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

0

2 months ago

courtroom, fleetwood, Fleetwood Mac, go own way, honor, humor, i, independence, joke, mac, music, own, said

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Slack this month:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

34 shares on Discord this month:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Freshly posted on X:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Going viral on Instagram:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Live now on Messenger:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Just shared via YouTube:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Breaking via Messenger:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨