Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Seriously, who do we talk to about extending weekends? It's like we blink and it's already Monday again! 🙈 Can we get a petition going for #MoreWeekendPlease? 📝⏳"

balance, days, enough, fun, leisure, longer, petition, time, time off, weekend, work life, work-life balance

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

0

2 months ago

humor, invisible, masturbate, people, read
If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

0

2 months ago

am, awareness, humor, i, ID, intelligence, irony, little, self-reflection, smart, stupid
People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

0

5 months ago

advantage, advantages, best, dumb, humor, intelligence, interaction, misunderstanding, people, perception, social, social interaction, thinking
Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

0

2 months ago

dad, decision, electricity, family, history, humor, i, living, living will, plug, want, waste, wasting
Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, adulting, bed, changes, different, excited, excitement, getting, humor, level, life, life changes, responsibility, sleep
If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

0

2 months ago

drunk, Easter, Easter egg, egg, eggs, fun, hide, hunt, knows, nobody, party, secret, surprise, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

89 shares on YouTube this month:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Just landed via YouTube:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Spotted on YouTube:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Trending via Telegram:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Spotted on Reddit:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨