Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,540

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Making waves on X:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Making waves on Threads:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Going viral on X:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Going bananas on Slack:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Time travelers are just jealous of our photos! 📸⏳😆

cool, future, humor, later, memory, moment, nostalgia, photo, photos, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

0

2 months ago

activity, driving, fun, fun activity, humor, i, just, music, myself, played, repetition, same, solo, song, times
Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

0

2 months ago

back, carefree, cookie, day, eating, fun, i, ignorance, just, knowing, nostalgia, simplicity, wish
Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

0

2 months ago

car, construction, cornfield, deer, driving, forgot, front, humor, jump, just, life, lot, Midwest, people, quirks, regional, regional quirks, road, road construction, rural, rural life, sick, small, small town, thinking, town, weather
1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

0

2 months ago

1994, 2024, 30, anticipation, change, disappointment, future, God, humor, i, irony, time, wait, world
Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

0

2 months ago

exhausting, humor, long time, once, realization, realize, relationships, single, time
To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

0

2 months ago

career, clear, growth, humor, i, level, levels, looking, meant, money, said, salary, stress, stress level, work, workload

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

53 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Making waves on Pinterest:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Making waves on Instagram:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Just landed via YouTube:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Seen just now on Threads:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨