Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Trending via TikTok:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Just landed via Reddit:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Going bananas on Twitch:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Going viral on Discord:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Shared recently on Messenger:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Live now on TikTok:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Polar bears sipping on Coca Cola, just don't forget the marshmallows for their hot cocoa! 🍫🧊🥤❄️ #HolidayGoals #ChillVibes"

bear, coca, Coca Cola, cola, drink, drinking, favorite, festive, holiday, polar, polar bear, vibe, winter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

0

2 months ago

bag, binge, Doritos, eating, food, guilty, guilty pleasure, humor, pleasure, sitting, snaccident, snack, whole
Muting morons is good for your health.

0

2 months ago

good, health, humor, moron, muting, positivity, self-care, wellness
My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

0

3 days ago

bet, humor, less, lose, loss, new, New Year’s resolution, others, presumption, resolution, rude, rudeness, sarcasm, weight, weight loss, year’s, yours
The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

0

2 months ago

back, best, breakfast, diet, food, humor, lifestyle, me, procrastination, sleep, stick, straight
I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

0

2 months ago

am, bed, going, head, humor, i, idea, laying, Ozempic, reading, Santa, stoned, whisper
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

0

2 months ago

arm, body, count, finger, gratitude, humor, leg, side, support, thank

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

83 shares on Discord this month:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

69 shares on X this month:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Making waves on Instagram:

Talents: eating!

Trending via Pinterest:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Spotted on WeChat:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Muting morons is good for your health.

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨