Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,666

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Going bananas on Slack:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Just shared via Threads:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Just landed via WeChat:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Making waves on Discord:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Polar bears sipping on Coca Cola, just don't forget the marshmallows for their hot cocoa! 🍫🧊🥤❄️ #HolidayGoals #ChillVibes"

bear, coca, Coca Cola, cola, drink, drinking, favorite, festive, holiday, polar, polar bear, vibe, winter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

0

2 months ago

bread, cool, ever, food, garlic, garlic bread, humor, preference, relationship, sex
I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, anything, claws, convenience, humor, i, opening, package, reality, violence, want, Wolverine
Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

0

2 months ago

alike, great, humor, irony, mind, minds, stupid, think, wisdom
When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

0

2 months ago

away, disgust, embarrass, kids, mutter, public, raised, turn
I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, again, cosplay, functional, functional adult, humor, identity, role-playing, self-deprecation
I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

0

2 months ago

admiration, attention, dating, humor, i, love, me, meme, need, passion, relationship, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

27 shares on X this month:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

My default setting is sexual energy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Spotted on WeChat:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Never trust a wet fart.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Just shared via Facebook:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Making waves on Discord:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Just landed via YouTube:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Just shared via Pinterest:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨