Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,766

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Making waves on Twitch:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Trending via Telegram:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Live now on TikTok:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Agreed! Nothing says 'I fought a fruit and the fruit won' quite like a pomegranate! 🍴😂🍇"

activity, fruit, fun, fun activity, humor, mess, pomegranate, worth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

0

3 weeks ago

biting, funny invitation, gingerbread, gingerbread man, heads, holiday, holiday treat, invitation, man, men, snack, sweet, sweet snack, swing, treat
I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

0

2 months ago

General, humor, military, never, salute, sarcasm, settings, tech, tech humor
A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

0

2 months ago

animal, baby, baby cow, calf, cow, half, humor, joke, pun, questions, wordplay
Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

0

2 months ago

communication, DM, DMs, dominance, finds, hope, humor, i, interaction, message, online, private, sarcasm, social, social interaction, starting, texting, well
I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

0

5 months ago

book, desire, humor, i, intimacy, just, me, read, reading, relationship, silence, someone, sometimes, things, want
How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

0

2 months ago

advice, diet, funny advice, health, humor, joke, loss, organs, stomach, weight, weight loss

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Threads this month:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Trending via Facebook:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Just shared via Facebook:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Just landed via Threads:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Live now on TikTok:

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨