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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ป has copied:

Yes, Iโ€™m full of microplastics, but itโ€™s actually been helpful. Itโ€™s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has viewed:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid wonโ€™t open.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

Your honor, my client doesnโ€™t like jail.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ด๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has viewed:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1748 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,910

Funny Quotes Topics

14,729

Funny Quotes Images

11,910

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Reported on WeChat:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I hope I donโ€™t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Making waves on Twitch:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: hereโ€™s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: thatโ€™ll be $8700.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do thatโ€ฆ

Shared recently on Reddit:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Making waves on Discord:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Reported on Messenger:

Sorry I canโ€™t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Making waves on Discord:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.
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Commentary:
When I tried a ponytail, I just looked like a medieval squire ๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿ˜‚

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1748 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,910

Funny Quotes Topics

14,729

Funny Quotes Images

11,910

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. Itโ€™s called dehydration.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

I identify as a McDonaldโ€™s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ has viewed:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Discord:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. Iโ€™ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Just landed via Instagram:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and youโ€™re single.

Just landed via Messenger:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Spotted on YouTube:

Canโ€™t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Just landed via TikTok:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Just shared via WeChat:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Iโ€™m having a garage sale and hope people Iโ€™ve borrowed things from donโ€™t come.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday thatโ€™s about to get even worse.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

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