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Commentary:
"Trying to use 'pre' and 'post' together is like trying to hit pause and rewind on life at the same time ⏪🔄 Talk about a preposterous paradox! It's a linguistic rollercoaster – with no seatbelts! 🎢😂"

after, before, both, definition, humor, language, means, post, pre, preposterous, pun, same, time, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

1 month ago
apple, dork, free, humor, i, price, pro, technology, thanks, vision, Vision Pro, want
Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

1 month ago
artist, courtroom, duty, funny situation, humor, imagine, jury, jury duty, lines, situation, sketch, sketch artist, stink, stink lines
I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

1 month ago
alone, box, break, break room, donut, donuts, food, humor, i, indulgence, person, room, temptation, workplace
Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

1 month ago
attract, attraction, humor, opposites, relationship, undress
Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

1 month ago
diary, humor, husband, i, promise, relationship, secret, tell, trust
The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

1 month ago
art, coping, dignity, grace, humor, life, positivity, survival, wit

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

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Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

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If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

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If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

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At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

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I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Spotted on Reddit:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Just landed via X:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Wordgag ツ

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“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

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HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

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“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

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Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

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