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Commentary:
"🍝💰 'Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.' 🤑🔮 Looks like the future is shaped by carb-loaded success stories! 🚀🍝 Invest in noodles, reap the delicious rewards! 😄👌 #PastaProfits"

company, every, finance, food, humor, invest, pasta, penne, pro, pro-tip, tip, worth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

0

3 months ago

abduction, ahead, alien, alien abduction, alien rescue, aliens, consider, extraterrestrial, humor, i, joke, just, mission, picked, point, rescue, rescue mission
Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

0

2 months ago

hairline, humor, idea, men, receding, spider, spider web, tattoo, web
Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

0

2 months ago

confession, everyone, faith, full, great, great news, humor, irony, news, priest, recovery
I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

0

2 months ago

bag, candy, commentary, humor, i, joke, M&M, social, social commentary, woke, wordplay
Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

0

5 months ago

brother, gone, hogan, honor, Hulk, Hulk Hogan, humor, ripping, screaming, shirt, shirt ripping, shirts, stranger, strangers, tribute, wrestling
If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

0

2 months ago

bit, cuisine, culinary, dining, food, humor, i, recommend, sarcasm, something, sophisticated, tired, try, want, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Facebook this month:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

43 shares on Threads this month:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

61 shares on X this month:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

19 shares on Discord this month:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

57 shares on X this month:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Making waves on Reddit:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Making waves on Reddit:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Live now on WeChat:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Trending via Snapchat:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨