Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

11 shares on Threads this month:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

24 shares on Discord this month:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.