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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

I donโ€™t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

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Starting a new life today, bye.

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The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

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“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday thatโ€™s about to get even worse.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

Donโ€™t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

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Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

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Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means youโ€™re raising the bar.

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I’m going to hell in every religion.

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If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

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Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Witty gym humor about weak notices, playful and amusing text about workout excuses.

Commentary:
"Breaking news: My muscles have issued a statement – they're quitting the workout game! ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿšซ #GymConfessions"



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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

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I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldnโ€™t be happier.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until theyโ€™ve hit their head. 2. Say โ€œOoh, mind your head!โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

The only thing I donโ€™t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

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God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

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Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

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