Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

Apparently itโ€™s inappropriate to yell out โ€œShots, shots, shots, shotsโ€ while your childโ€™s getting immunizations at the pediatricianโ€™s office.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You donโ€™t go above twenty-five.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Seriously, how sexy was Freudโ€™s mom?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

I donโ€™t need therapy. I need everyone whoโ€™s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

Maybe in another life, Iโ€™m a spoiled nepo baby โ€” jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

What if you went to ETโ€™s planet and all of the other ETโ€™s were wearing clothes?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

Nobody cleans better than someone whoโ€™s pissed off.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has downloaded:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Telegram:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Just shared via Twitch:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Just shared via Facebook:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we donโ€™t trust.

Breaking via Slack:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, โ€œno, sheโ€™s biologically mine.โ€

Going viral on Instagram:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Live now on X:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Going viral on X:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. Heโ€™s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like heโ€™s me.

Breaking via Telegram:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Finally putting my degree in Couch-ology to good use! ๐Ÿ›‹๏ธ๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ˜Ž"

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Funny Quotes ๐Ÿค

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ“ˆ

Hot Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ”ฅ

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡จ has bookmarked:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now theyโ€™re your problem.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡จ has viewed:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like โ€œHow to teach your kid to not biteโ€.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are โ€œthrilledโ€ on LinkedIn.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

My life is based on a true story.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Just shared via WeChat:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Trending via Messenger:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Just landed via Threads:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Spotted on Messenger:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Just shared via YouTube:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Going viral on Discord:

When you said โ€œletโ€™s circle back to that in the new yearโ€ and now itโ€™s the new year.

Trending via Telegram:

I wish I could join, but Iโ€™m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Share Wordgag ๐Ÿ™

ยฉ 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with โค๏ธ in Sydney โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒด