Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.
  • I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.
  • Due to not wanting to, I will not be.
  • When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.
  • My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.
  • If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.