Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,337

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Spotted on Reddit:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Going viral on Slack:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Breaking via Telegram:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Just landed via Discord:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

Broadcasted on Threads:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Breaking via Telegram:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Relationship status: he escaped.

Witty text about relationship drama, humorously suggesting someone has escaped.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Relationship status: he escaped 🏃‍♂️ Maybe I should start using handcuffs instead of just tying knots in the relationship 🤣 #RunawayLover"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,524

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Just shared via Slack:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Just landed via Discord:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Just shared via WeChat:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Going viral on Facebook:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Breaking via Messenger:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

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