Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,651

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Breaking via WeChat:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Just landed via Facebook:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Trending via TikTok:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Just landed via WeChat:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Going bananas on Slack:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Broadcasted on WeChat:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Relationship status: he escaped.

0
Relationship status: he escaped.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Relationship status: he escaped 🏃‍♂️ Maybe I should start using handcuffs instead of just tying knots in the relationship 🤣 #RunawayLover"

, , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Threads this month:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is a vessel for various dips.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,798

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Just shared via Threads:

I am cassette tape years old.

Just landed via Threads:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Going bananas on Twitch:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Spotted on X:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Seen just now on Facebook:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴