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I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

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I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

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Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

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This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

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I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

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Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

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You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

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My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

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Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

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Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.