Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.
  • I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.
  • Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?
  • Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.
  • I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.
  • Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”