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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Netflix be like β€œwe know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has copied:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has copied:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has downloaded:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has shared:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going bananas on Discord:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Going bananas on Slack:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Trending via Instagram:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Making waves on YouTube:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Spotted on YouTube:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Trending via Telegram:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Going viral on YouTube:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

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Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.
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Commentary:
Looks like we've got a new definition of "bad mood" and some unexpected foot placement! πŸ€ πŸ™ˆβœ¨

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for β€œdumpster fire”?

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

11 shares on X this month:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

82 shares on X this month:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,406

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has shared:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has shared:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has viewed:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has copied:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has copied:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has shared:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has copied:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has copied:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on Slack:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Spotted on Instagram:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Going viral on Messenger:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Shared recently on Discord:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Just shared via Messenger:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Just shared via TikTok:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Going viral on WeChat:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Live now on Snapchat:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Going viral on YouTube:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Going bananas on YouTube:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, β€œit should’ve been you”

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