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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like we've got a new definition of "bad mood" and some unexpected foot placement! 🤠🙈✨

anger, cowgirl, even, frustration, humor, i, intimacy, mad, me, relationship, reverse, reverse cowgirl, right

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

0

2 months ago

acting, apology, behavior, being, humor, i, interaction, just, mirror, people, playful, sarcasm, social, social interaction, sorry, weird, weirdness
My nickname in high school was “who?”

0

2 months ago

high, high school, humor, identity, memory, nickname, school, self-deprecation
Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

0

4 months ago

good, humor, making, only, personality, quirk, self-deprecating, skill, thing, things, weird
Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

0

5 months ago

away, boyfriend, chase, child, dating, flirting, humor, i, men, rejection, relationship, started, telling
I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

0

2 months ago

day, fake, humble, just, millionaires, parents, say, still, teach, waiting
Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

0

1 month ago

comfort, comfort food, comparison, food, food comparison, humor, little, pillow, pillows, pizza, pizza roll, roll, rolls, snack

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Telegram this month:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

43 shares on Slack this month:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

22 shares on X this month:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

12 shares on Threads this month:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

42 shares on Threads this month:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Making waves on Messenger:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Trending via Threads:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Just shared via TikTok:

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Live now on Snapchat:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨