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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,671

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Breaking via YouTube:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Making waves on TikTok:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Making waves on Reddit:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like we've got a new definition of "bad mood" and some unexpected foot placement! 🤠🙈✨

anger, cowgirl, even, frustration, humor, i, intimacy, mad, me, relationship, reverse, reverse cowgirl, right

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

1 month ago
humor, i, ID, me, media, sarcasm, self-awareness, social, social media, stalk, stalking, too
Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

1 month ago
humor, lightheartedness, marshmallow, roasting, self-deprecation, self-esteem, stop, yourself
I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

1 month ago
Cairo, culture, dance, Egyptian, humor, i, injury, need, practor, pun, tried, walk
Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

1 month ago
angel, example, heaven, humor, joke, life, me, office, work
Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

1 month ago
advent, calendar, Christmas, closing, countdown, daily, daily routine, day, every, humor, productivity, reverse, reverse advent calendar, routine, tab, work, work tab
They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

1 month ago
art, friend, funny idea, humor, idea, jeff, park, people, public, public art, regular, regular people, should, statue, through, walking

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Seen just now on Threads:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Spotted on Facebook:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Spotted on Twitch:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

I had too much to think last night.

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

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Activity Log ✨

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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