Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Looks like that robot bartender took "pouring your heart out" a bit too literally! 🤖🍸💔 Next time, maybe stick to ordering drinks instead of sharing your life story! 😉🤖

after, bartender, comedy, conversation, drink, frustration, half, hour, humor, listening, me, over, problems, robot, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, car, humor, marry, mirror, relationship, seat, size
I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

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2 months ago

anxiety, body, body language, fine, humor, language, leg, reaction, shake, speed
My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

0

2 months ago

AI, beautiful, beauty, being, competition, computer, contest, crafting, creativity, cry, dream, emotion, humor, i, story, writing, writing contest
Oh good. Another day.

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2 months ago

another, day, good, humor, irony, oh, pessimism, routine, sarcasm
I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

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4 months ago

fatigue, humor, i, less, reincarnation, tired, wish
I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

0

2 months ago

antidepressant, baby, baby name, humor, i, irony, later, learn, mom, name, naming, new, new mom, only, parenting, pick, try, unique, unique name, wonder

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Messenger this month:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Going viral on Messenger:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Breaking via X:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Shared recently on Discord:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Spotted on Slack:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Going bananas on X:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Oh good. Another day.

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨