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Commentary:
Looks like that robot bartender took "pouring your heart out" a bit too literally! 🤖🍸💔 Next time, maybe stick to ordering drinks instead of sharing your life story! 😉🤖

after, bartender, comedy, conversation, drink, frustration, half, hour, humor, listening, me, over, problems, robot, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

0

2 months ago

big, exercise, fitness, forward, humor, lunges, pun, routine, step, workout
Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

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2 months ago

angelo, bad, chapel, feel, humor, michael, Michael Angelo, motivation, perseverance, success, try
Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

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2 months ago

content, content creation, creation, feel, female, filmmaker, forgot, fun, i, ig, Instagram, Instagram story, media, post, social, social media, story
If love is the answer then what was the question?

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2 months ago

answer, humor, irony, love, question, relationship, wit
They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

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2 months ago

happiness, happy, humor, i, lose, nap, proverb, relaxation, rest, say, sleep, snooze, take
No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

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2 months ago

aging, Botox, brow, dumb, dumb thing, expression, facial, facial expression, furrowed, furrowed brow, humor, i, need, people, sarcasm, say, skincare, thing, things, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

44 shares on Slack this month:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

81 shares on X this month:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

96 shares on X this month:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

31 shares on X this month:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

27 shares on Discord this month:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Going viral on X:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

Just shared via YouTube:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Going bananas on Threads:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Just shared via X:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

If love is the answer then what was the question?

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨