Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Going viral on Slack:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Spotted on Slack:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Live now on TikTok:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Live now on Facebook:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Making waves on Reddit:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Shared recently on Facebook:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I totally relate—my dishwasher's been on strike since it realized I like tacos more than its hard work! 🌮😂📄

cause, delicious, dishes, dishwashing, doing, food, hate, humor, i, laziness, paper, paper plate, plate, red, rose, roses, taco, tacos

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

0

4 months ago

am, bad, bad mood, beautiful, beautiful day, behavior, better, compulsive, compulsive behavior, day, depressed, depression, dwell, dwelling, humor, i, inside, irony, mood, sarcasm, sit, sitting, sitting inside
I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

0

2 months ago

again, bathroom, bathroom scale, battery, change, frustration, hate, honesty, humor, i, scale, telling, truth, weight
One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

0

2 months ago

building, day, fun, next, pretty, saying, things, young
I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

0

2 months ago

every, finance, humor, i, income, job, me, money, month, need, paycheck, salary, shock, work
When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, attitude, communication, dating, done, girl, hr, humor, relationship, sarcasm, something
I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

0

2 months ago

being, clown, comedy, conflict, humor, i, irony, mind, mine, perspective, relationship, story, villain

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

38 shares on Slack this month:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Just landed via Discord:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Spotted on YouTube:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Making waves on Slack:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Spotted on Twitch:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Going viral on Slack:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Live now on WeChat:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨