Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,719

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Making waves on TikTok:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Going viral on Discord:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Just landed via YouTube:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Just shared via Instagram:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Just shared via YouTube:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

23 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text highlighting Rudolph’s nose and Santa’s foggy visibility mishap.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess Santa needed a GPS instead of a PDS—Protruding Deer Snout! 🦌❌🌫️🗺️

anything, bright, Christmas, done, fog, humor, improve, nose, red, red nose, reindeer, Rudolph, Santa, visibility

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on TikTok this month:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

47 shares on Slack this month:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

13 shares on Messenger this month:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

98 shares on Threads this month:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Just landed via Messenger:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Seen just now on Threads:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Spotted on Slack:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Going viral on X:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Just landed via Discord:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Spotted on Facebook:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨