Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,554

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Breaking via Facebook:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Going viral on TikTok:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Trending via Pinterest:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Just shared via Discord:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Just shared via Discord:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Just landed via Threads:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Just landed via Slack:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
We'd better start doing push-ups, or Skynet's going to send us a disappointed emoji! 🤖💪😆

connor, culture, disappointed, disappointment, grok, humor, letting, pop, pop culture, sarah, Sarah Connor, us

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

0

2 months ago

eggplant, eggs, food, gardening, grow, humor, own, pun
Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

0

2 months ago

almond, eating, food, humor, joke, sarcasm, scam, wood
It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

0

2 months ago

consequence, fashion, fit, fun, game, humor, jean, jeans, reality, weight
Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

0

2 months ago

customer, day, face, face slap, frustration, hand, humor, interaction, professional, service, should, slap, workplace
Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

0

2 months ago

90s, adulting, affordability, affordable, feel, humor, i, nostalgia, scam
You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

0

2 months ago

answer, call, calls, communication, gossip, humor, interaction, miss, missed, missed opportunity, opportunity, phone, phone call, social, social interaction

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

37 shares on Messenger this month:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

94 shares on Telegram this month:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Going viral on Telegram:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Trending via Twitch:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Seen just now on X:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Making waves on Twitch:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Live now on X:

I put the mess in domestic.

Spotted on Reddit:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨