Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,229

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Making waves on Discord:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Going viral on Snapchat:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Just landed via Facebook:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Just landed via Messenger:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Going viral on Instagram:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
We'd better start doing push-ups, or Skynet's going to send us a disappointed emoji! 🤖💪😆

connor, culture, disappointed, disappointment, grok, humor, letting, pop, pop culture, sarah, Sarah Connor, us

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

0

3 weeks ago

beautiful, being, celibacy, dating, due, existence, forced, frustration, horny, humor, lack, life, living, man, me, men, modern, modern life, woman, women, world, worthy, worthy man
Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

0

5 months ago

asking, awkwardness, extrovert, friend, humor, interaction, introvert, personality, rehab, social, social interaction, try
Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

0

2 months ago

40, activity, age, dating, fun, fun activity, hide, hide and seek, humor, life, loneliness, looking, over, relationships, seek, seeking, single, single life
There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

0

2 months ago

another, fencing, guys, humorous, joke, kiss, kissing, playful, romantic, should, sport, trying, variant
My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

0

2 months ago

being, cost, expensive, family, getting, humor, me, nice, parenting, relationship, teen
I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

0

2 months ago

hidden, hidden talent, humor, i, irony, joke, problem, self-deprecation, talent

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

100 shares on YouTube this month:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

100 shares on X this month:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Going viral on Threads:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Just shared via Threads:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Seen just now on Discord:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨