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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,718

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Just shared via X:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
😂🔥 Adrenaline rush level 9000: Watching an ad while your popcorn catches fire! 🍿🚒

ad, advertisement, before, extinguisher, fire, fire extinguisher, humor, online, online video, safety, seems, short, short video, tutorial, video, YouTube

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

0

2 months ago

Barbie, brag, childhood, doll, humor, naked, playtime, toy
Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

0

5 months ago

away, chore, daily, daily chore, day, dry, exist, fold, humor, laundry, manage, management, people, put, put away, question, same, time, time management, wash
If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

0

2 months ago

35, company, employment, grow, growth, hiring, humor, job, office, people, sign, us, work, workload
Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

0

2 months ago

bag, before, burger, casual, casual joke, fast, fast food, five, Five Guys, food, food service, got, guy, guys, humor, job, joke, just, put, service, workplace
Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

0

2 months ago

back, broken, broken girl, fix, girl, guy, heartbreak, humor, irony, love, relationship, same, same guy, take
I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

0

1 month ago

body, daily, daily routine, drink, eat, frustration, hate, having, high, humor, i, maintenance, routine, shower, sleep, stupid

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Live now on YouTube:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Just shared via YouTube:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Going viral on YouTube:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Making waves on WeChat:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Just shared via Facebook:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨