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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Going viral on YouTube:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Just shared via TikTok:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Going viral on TikTok:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Going bananas on Messenger:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Just landed via Slack:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

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Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?
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Commentary:
Reassurance without asking? That's like finding Wi-Fi in the middle of nowhere! 🌐📶

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

41 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

27 shares on X this month:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,562

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Trending via Discord:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Spotted on Discord:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Spotted on YouTube:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Just shared via Discord:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Breaking via WeChat:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Going viral on Reddit:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Trending via Discord:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

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