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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,563

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Freshly posted on Slack:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Just shared via YouTube:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Trending via Pinterest:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Just landed via Discord:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

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Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?
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Commentary:
Reassurance without asking? That's like finding Wi-Fi in the middle of nowhere! 🌐📶

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

25 shares on X this month:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,492

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Making waves on Instagram:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Making waves on TikTok:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Trending via Pinterest:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Trending via Discord:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

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