Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Well, we all have our unique gift preferences, right? 💐🔮 Who needs roses when you can summon ancient spirits instead? 🌚 Next time you're shopping for a gift, remember: it's all fun and games until the mummy wakes up! 😂🌹 #AncientCurseGoals

ancient, curse, desire, flowers, gift, humor, joke, relationship, want, wants, witchcraft

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

1 month ago
act, comfort, expectation, frustration, hate, humor, i, job, man, pillow, should, sleep
Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

1 month ago
cubicle, employee, employee handbook, handbook, humor, i, life, me, noise, office, office life, show, weird, weird noise, where, workplace, workplace humor
I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

2 months ago
90s, 90s hip hop, citizen, folks, generation, heavy, heavy metal, hip, home, homes, hop, humor, i, kind, metal, music, nostalgia, old, old folks’ home, rap, senior, senior citizen, wait
Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

1 month ago
direction, humor, joke, me, sperm, swimming, wordplay
Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

5 months ago
adulting, health, humor, life, mental, mental health, mystery, self-care, session, therapy, time
Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

1 month ago
alcohol, finance, humor, imagination, imagine, money, refund, spending, spent

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Going viral on Facebook:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Making waves on Discord:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Spotted on Discord:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Going bananas on Threads:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Self-cleaning conscience.

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏