Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I used to really want to be understood. Now I mainly just want things like snacks and juice.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,531

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Breaking via Threads:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Making waves on Messenger:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Going bananas on Slack:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Using Twitter as a semi-vague posting journal for memory purposes.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Making waves on WeChat:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Trending via Telegram:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

4 days ago

Playful quote about a shrimp humorously aspiring to be fancy food waste at a gala.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like this shrimp has big dreams—aiming to make a splash even if it's just as fancy leftover! 🍤😂 Just remember, whether it's on a plate or in a party trash bin, it's all about making a statement. Keep reaching for those gourmet goals! 🍽️🎉

anthropomorphism, dinner, event, food, food waste, gala, grow, humor, i, satire, shrimp, want, waste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Twitch this month:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

63 shares on Facebook this month:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

84 shares on Slack this month:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Food gives you energy to nap more.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re so productive for your wage.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Trending via WeChat:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Seen just now on Twitch:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Making waves on Instagram:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Trending via Instagram:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Making waves on Messenger:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Spotted on Telegram:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

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