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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Aura is the real business card.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Trending via Reddit:

Earth is hard.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Shared recently on X:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Trending via Messenger:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Shared recently on Discord:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Going viral on Slack:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Trending via Messenger:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the mystical power of knee-slapping to revive technology! 🤯⚡️ Who knew that our very knees held the key to prolonging battery life? Science at its finest, folks! 💁‍♂️📺 #KneeSlapMagic"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Seen just now on Slack:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Live now on Messenger:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Trending via Discord:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Live now on Facebook:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

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