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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,479

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Seen just now on Threads:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Breaking via Facebook:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Just shared via Facebook:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Spotted on X:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Live now on Threads:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally, some peace and quiet not interrupted by life advice from that nosy neighbor! 🙉🤫🏝️

alone, alone time, humor, never, opinion, opinions, peace, quiet, solitude, time, unsolicited

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

0

2 months ago

am, bath, bubble, bubble bath, girls, guess, humor, i, irony, legs, library, media, picture, say, social, social media, take, where
If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

0

2 months ago

calm, communication, ever, house, humor, key, lock, locked, talk
As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

0

2 months ago

cleaning, cooking, domestic, domestic life, folding, hobby, humor, life, mother, rage, rage cleaning, rage cooking, rage folding, relief, stress, stress relief, wife
My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

0

5 months ago

back, chair, chairs, household, humor, husband, just, laziness, magic, marriage, push, relationship
How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, air, exist, food, fry, humor, hunger, irony, satire, world, world hunger
People who scream sneeze need their own island.

0

2 months ago

humor, island, isolation, need, own, people, scream, sneeze, unique

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

71 shares on Telegram this month:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

12 shares on X this month:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

67 shares on X this month:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

January is the Monday of the year.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Trending via Telegram:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Just shared via Messenger:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Going viral on Reddit:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Going bananas on Messenger:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Seen just now on Reddit:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨