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Looks like some people are on a totally different wavelength, probably tuning into a cooking show instead of the room's drama! 📚🎧 Don't worry, we'll send them a copy of "Room 101" to get them up to speed! 😄

audiobook, awareness, communication, even, humor, listening, reading, room

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

0

5 months ago

analogy, closer, end, faster, humor, life, paper, roll, time, toilet, toilet paper
Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

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1 month ago

caffeine, coffee, cutting, eat, energy, exhaustion, frustration, gun, humor, i, joke, need, sarcasm
“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

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4 months ago

birthday, birthday party, cat, climb, climbing, community, cost, friend, friends, i, inconvenience, myself, party, repeat, six, stairs
For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

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3 weeks ago

again, am, exhaustion, humor, i, retired, retirement, tired, today, wondering, yes, yesterday
If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

0

2 months ago

advice, bedtime, drinking, humor, hydration, kids, parenting, tell, water
Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

0

2 months ago

day, favorite, favorite day, going, humor, i, pretend, procrastination, productive, relaxation, something, Sunday, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

49 shares on Slack this month:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Making waves on YouTube:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Making waves on WeChat:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Seen just now on Discord:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Seen just now on Discord:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨