Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,885

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Trending via Telegram:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Spotted on Facebook:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Seen just now on X:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Spotted on Twitch:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Just shared via TikTok:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When existential crises get boring, just add friends and watch as the "point" becomes slightly less blurry 😂👀❤️

brief, existential, existential question, hang, hang out, i, love, moment, people, point, question, reflection, sometimes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

0

2 months ago

bonfire, bring, campfire, expectation, fuel, guitar, humor, joke, music
I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

0

4 months ago

actually, before, birthday, check, communication, expectation, happy, honesty, humor, i, interaction, me, memory, social, social interaction, tell, told
Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

0

2 months ago

dairy, food, heathen, humor, intolerance, lactose, tolerate
Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

0

2 months ago

awooga, expression, eye, eyes, humor, men, nostalgia, socket, yell
Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, conversation, date, describe, food, food conversation, forget, humor, i, me, nice, sexy, sexy talk, slow, slow talk, talk, waffles, want
If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

0

2 months ago

chin, chin hair, coma, ever, funny request, hair, humor, please, pluck, request

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on WeChat this month:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

97 shares on X this month:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

94 shares on Threads this month:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I would prefer not to.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Going bananas on X:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Trending via Discord:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Trending via Twitch:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Just shared via Messenger:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Making waves on Twitch:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨