Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.
  • Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.
  • Weirdos gonna weird.
  • Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.
  • I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.
  • Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.