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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has copied:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has viewed:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has copied:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, β€œthink twice, adventurer.”

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,588

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on WeChat:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Spotted on Discord:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Seen just now on Discord:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

Live now on Pinterest:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Trending via Twitch:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Just landed via Discord:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Live now on Pinterest:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Spotted on YouTube:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Just shared via Reddit:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Playful text about ripe pears, humorously suggesting a procrastination excuse.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sorry, can't. I'm pear-occupied with my juicy ripened fruits 🍐πŸ₯­ Can't let them down, they've 'pear'-fected their ripeness game! πŸπŸ˜„ #PearPriorities"

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Facebook this month:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

91 shares on Discord this month:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

66 shares on Slack this month:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

25 is the new 0 years old.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,551

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has copied:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡¬ has shared:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡³ has shared:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡· has bookmarked:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on X:

Adding β€œFree HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Broadcasted on Discord:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Trending via LinkedIn:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Spotted on WeChat:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Making waves on Threads:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Just landed via WeChat:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

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