Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,729

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Breaking via WeChat:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Trending via YouTube:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Freshly posted on Threads:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Trending via Discord:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Embrace the weirdness—it's a recurring episode in my personal sitcom! 😂🤪🔄

acting, again, am, apology, happen, humor, i, personality, self-awareness, sorry, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

2 months ago

activity, dance, dance move, favorite, getting, getting out, humor, move, own, self, trying
I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

2 months ago

butterfly, butterfly feeling, dating, emotions, feeling, feelings, give, having, humor, i, me, miss, people, point, relationships, roach, roach vibe, vibe, vibes
My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

4 months ago

advice, getting, getting older, humor, older, people, person, preparation, prepare, start, stretching, young, young person
Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

4 months ago

communication, email, emails, humor, i, know, phrase, sarcasm, sign, sign off, start
“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

2 months ago

comedy, end, family, father, home, humor, important, meeting, meetings, mom, money, nothing, online, online meeting, parenting, rich, said, technology, thanks, wealth, work, work from home, Zoom
One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

2 months ago

able, adulting, being, boundary, excuse, mom, over, said, say, someone, sucks, thing, visitor, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Discord this month:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

46 shares on Reddit this month:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

75 shares on Threads this month:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

74 shares on X this month:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Trending via TikTok:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Live now on Instagram:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Spotted on YouTube:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Trending via Facebook:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨