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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Going bananas on WeChat:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Freshly posted on X:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Playful quote about embracing your quirks with humor and honesty.
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Commentary:
Embrace the weirdness—it's a recurring episode in my personal sitcom! 😂🤪🔄

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on X this month:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,264

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Live now on YouTube:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Just shared via X:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Making waves on Reddit:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Just landed via Facebook:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

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