Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m running out of people I like.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,483

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Making waves on Messenger:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Making waves on Discord:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

Going bananas on Messenger:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Making waves on Slack:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Just landed via Messenger:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Shared recently on Facebook:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Shared recently on Facebook:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma: leg bouncing or primal screaming? 🦵😱 Let's choose wisely, shall we? 🤔"

bounce, conversation, frustration, i, leg, screaming, start, stop

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, encounter, humor, knife, me, psycho, shower, situation, sorry, unexpected, unexpected encounter
The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

0

2 months ago

choice, decision, heart, humor, love, only, organ, vote, wants
Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

0

3 days ago

AI, commenting, friend, friends, gift, gift opening, humor, kid, kids, media, opening, pictures, present, presents, social, social media, under
Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

0

2 months ago

age, birthday, humor, just, number, perspective, scroll, scrolling, time
“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

0

2 months ago

Bachelor, clothes, iron, just, morning, stupid, thought, work
Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

0

2 months ago

comedy, every, eyes, funny man, humor, man, relationship, rolls, rolls eyes, wit, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

44 shares on Threads this month:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

38 shares on Slack this month:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Just landed via YouTube:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Just landed via TikTok:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Trending via Snapchat:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨