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When someone tries to rain on your parade, just remember they're on the express train to Hades and don't have time for your sunshine! 🌞🚂🔥

advice, bother, going, hell, humor, letting, people, stop

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

0

2 months ago

everything, humor, positivity, self-acceptance, self-hate, self-improvement, specific, specificity, stop, yourself
“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

0

2 months ago

communication, flirt, girl, God, good, humor, irony, skills
You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

0

2 months ago

activity, camping, convenience, dirt, floor, home, humor, leave, let, nature, outdoor, outdoor activity, shower, squirrels, stay
Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

0

2 months ago

amazing, blessing, family, humor, irony, kid, kids, learn, music, parent, parents, talent, trumpet
Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

0

2 months ago

alien, aliens, door, doors, Earth, extraterrestrial, fly, humor, joke, lock, past, safety, space
The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

0

2 months ago

drink, fact, house, humor, i, logic, much, prove, statement, wine

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on TikTok this month:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

Just shared via Telegram:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Seen just now on Threads:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Just landed via Messenger:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Seen just now on Discord:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Going viral on Reddit:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Going viral on WeChat:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨