Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,523

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Trending via Facebook:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Trending via Threads:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Spotted on YouTube:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Trending via Snapchat:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like that cow's got a beef with traffic regulations 🐄🚗 I guess you could say the situation is utterly ridiculous! 🤣🥛

animal, blockage, blocking, cow, dairy, humor, pun, road, stupid

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My body looks like I have a great personality.

0

2 months ago

body, confidence, great, humor, i, looks, personality, self-deprecation
Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

0

2 months ago

angry, apologize, decide, humor, let, naked, relationship, sleep, still, women
Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

0

2 months ago

dating, dating profile, ex, good, guys, humor, photo, pics, picture, profile, profile picture, profiles, relationship
Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

0

2 months ago

adult, bed, being, humor, life, morning, mumbling, reluctant, slide, struggle, stupid
Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

0

2 months ago

desire, humor, i, men, relationships, sarcasm, suffer, suffering, want
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

0

2 months ago

death, humor, life, peace, peaceful, philosophy, pleasant, transition, trouble

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

84 shares on Reddit this month:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Live now on WeChat:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Breaking via Slack:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Going viral on X:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Just shared via YouTube:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Trending via Facebook:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨