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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,397

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Just shared via Reddit:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Seen just now on Telegram:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Going viral on Twitch:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Breaking via Messenger:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Just shared via WeChat:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Going viral on Slack:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

3 weeks ago

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Taking a Hooters waitress to a different Hooters is peak "I've got a type" energy! 🍗😆👀

date, different, funny date, Hooters, humor, joke, night, night off, restaurant, taking, waitress

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77 shares on Messenger this month:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

69 shares on X this month:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

84 shares on Slack this month:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

86 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Just landed via X:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Going bananas on Twitch:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Just shared via Reddit:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

People will say “sounds good” at work when things don’t sound good at all.

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

People will say “sounds good” at work when things don’t sound good at all.

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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