Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,029

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Seen just now on Instagram:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Making waves on Twitch:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Trending via Facebook:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Trending via Discord:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

4 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Taking a Hooters waitress to a different Hooters is peak "I've got a type" energy! 🍗😆👀

date, different, funny date, Hooters, humor, joke, night, night off, restaurant, taking, waitress

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

0

5 months ago

actually, attraction, communication, crush, dating, easy, flirting, humor, love, nervousness, relationship, someone
Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

0

3 months ago

ask, computer, good, humor, i, life, morning, multitasking, nice, office, office life, open, procrastination, question, tab, tabs, weekend, work, work tab
Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

0

5 months ago

andrew, Andrew Tate, Axe, Axe body spray, body, celebrity, consciousness, humor, personification, satire, scent, spray, tate
I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

0

2 months ago

back, boundary, communication, conversation, end, enjoy, enjoyment, i, interaction, kind, life, living, modern, modern life, silence, simply, social, social interaction, texting, where, world
I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

0

2 months ago

airport, alcohol, love, pizza, wine
I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

0

2 months ago

cold, deserve, humor, i, irony, self-reflection, suffer, understand, winter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

71 shares on Discord this month:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

11 shares on WeChat this month:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Making waves on Slack:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Going bananas on TikTok:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Spotted on YouTube:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Trending via YouTube:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Trending via WeChat:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Making waves on Facebook:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Just shared via WeChat:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨