Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

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I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

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Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

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It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

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God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

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I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

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Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

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Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

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Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

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When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

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Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.