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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Spotted on Slack:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Seen just now on X:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Spotted on Telegram:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

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That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.
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Commentary:
🎉🍴 Ah, the holy grail of fridge encounters! The universe aligns, the stars twinkle in approval, and there it is – your desired treat, just waiting for you like a culinary guardian angel. It's like winning the food lottery without even buying a ticket! Time to savor that victory bite with a side of satisfaction. Enjoy the moment, my hungry friend! 🌟🥪

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Instagram this month:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

29 shares on Slack this month:

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

63 shares on Discord this month:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,647

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Just shared via TikTok:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Shared recently on X:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Freshly posted on Slack:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Shared recently on Telegram:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Freshly posted on X:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

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