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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2247 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,409

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,409

48 minutes ago

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Spotted on Messenger:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Making waves on Messenger:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Trending via Facebook:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Breaking via Facebook:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Reported on Instagram:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

6 months ago

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎉🍴 Ah, the holy grail of fridge encounters! The universe aligns, the stars twinkle in approval, and there it is – your desired treat, just waiting for you like a culinary guardian angel. It's like winning the food lottery without even buying a ticket! Time to savor that victory bite with a side of satisfaction. Enjoy the moment, my hungry friend! 🌟🥪

awesome, craving, desire, eat, food, fridge, happiness, kitchen, moment, open, snack, surprise, thing, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2247 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,409

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,409

48 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Going viral on Telegram:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Just shared via WeChat:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Just landed via Instagram:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Just landed via WeChat:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Going viral on Facebook:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

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