Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.
  • I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?
  • For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.
  • When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.
  • Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.
  • Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.