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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,593

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Going viral on Instagram:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Just landed via Threads:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Going viral on WeChat:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Just shared via Twitch:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Just landed via WeChat:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

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That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.
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Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle between responsibility and the allure of the warm, cozy bed. It's a tough decision – do you face the world with your hair brushed and teeth cleaned, or do you embrace the dramatics and call in "sick" to work, only to spend the day binge-watching your favorite show? Decisions, decisions… morning dilemmas at their finest!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

66 shares on X this month:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Windmill? Big fan.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

50 shares on Discord this month:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Breaking via TikTok:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Just landed via YouTube:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

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