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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,621

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Making waves on Discord:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Going bananas on Reddit:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Live now on Pinterest:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Spotted on TikTok:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Trending via Messenger:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Making waves on Reddit:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Embracing the weirdo vibes, one odd sock at a time! 🧦🤪

compliment, flirtation, humor, kind, little, playful, quirky, sexy, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

0

2 months ago

abrupt, ending, exit, going, hang out, hangout, home, i, normalize, saying, social
I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

0

2 months ago

brag, confidence, hate, humor, i, mistake, sarcasm, self-deprecating
Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

0

2 months ago

burn, burn manuscript, creativity, deleting, deleting tweet, humor, manuscript, media, self-editing, social, social media, tweet, Twitter, writer
How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

0

2 months ago

aid, alphabet, alphabet song, am, childhood, childhood habit, choice, choices, count, counting, decision, decision making, finger, finger counting, fingers, habit, i, learning, learning method, letter, life, life choice, making, memory, memory aid, method, next, sing, song, still, whole
Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, boat, brighter, day, drop, humor, just, much, people, side, sunglasses
Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

0

2 months ago

blocking, humor, me, metaphor, moon, relationship, stars, sun

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Discord this month:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

73 shares on X this month:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

14 shares on X this month:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Making waves on Instagram:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Making waves on Slack:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Shared recently on Slack:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Just landed via X:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Going viral on TikTok:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨