Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like this ninja's special move is the 'Soapy Sock Slide' technique! 👣🚿💥 Who needs a black belt when you can have squeaky clean feet instead? 😂 #ShowerNinja"

art, feet, humor, martial, martial art, mastery, self-care, shower, wash, washing, washing feet

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

0

2 months ago

back, bad, bad habit, bundle, communication, habit, habits, humanity, humor, i, me, message, mushroom, need, psychedelic, response, self-improvement, shit, tell, together, told, us, weeks
You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

0

2 months ago

board, board game, game, humor, irony, jail, luxury, luxury tax, money, Monopoly, old, old game, people, person, rich, rich person, tax, tell, wealth
You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

0

2 months ago

appreciate, appreciation, earbud, humor, just, loss, never, nostalgia, own, ownership, relationship, technology, time, together
Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, attitude, behavior, confrontation, dislike, else, everyone, feeling, honesty, i, interaction, just, me, poor, social, social interaction, valid, valid feeling, while
The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

0

2 months ago

control, figure, help, i, irony, kid, me, need, parental, parental control, parenting, problem, set, setup, technology
Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

0

2 months ago

affinity, bin, both, care, comparison, dirty, exploring, humor, parenting, puppy, smelly, toddler, trash

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Threads this month:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

67 shares on Messenger this month:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

36 shares on Slack this month:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Trending via WeChat:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Just shared via Discord:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Making waves on X:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Going viral on Discord:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Breaking via WeChat:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Trending via Threads:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Breaking via Discord:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨