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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Just landed via Messenger:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Trending via TikTok:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Breaking via TikTok:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Seen just now on Slack:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Going viral on TikTok:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

Going bananas on Messenger:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Just landed via YouTube:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Witty quote about the desire to open a cozy, multifunctional coffee, library, bakery, and flower shop.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why stop there? Let's add a cat cafe, yoga studio, and a place to nap! ☕📚🍰🌸😺🧘💤

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

29 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

52 shares on Discord this month:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

79 shares on Threads this month:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,626

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Just landed via YouTube:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Spotted on Facebook:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Going viral on YouTube:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Spotted on Telegram:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Making waves on Facebook:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Seen just now on Slack:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

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