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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has bookmarked:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has shared:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has shared:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has viewed:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡· has viewed:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has viewed:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via Instagram:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Making waves on Threads:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Trending via YouTube:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Going viral on Messenger:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Going viral on Discord:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Live now on Reddit:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Breaking via Reddit:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, PokΓ©mon Go.

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

47 shares on Discord this month:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

23 shares on X this month:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

89 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Trending Topics πŸ“

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Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œHope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œGod has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

People who don’t have Twitter are trying to show you stuff you laughed at a month ago.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,671

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ή has copied:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has downloaded:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has downloaded:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has copied:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has copied:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

January is the Monday of the year.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has shared:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡» has viewed:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has copied:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Seen just now on Threads:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Live now on Instagram:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Going viral on X:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Breaking via Telegram:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

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