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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Making waves on Twitch:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Trending via Instagram:

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about childhood innocence and outdoor fun. Playful, lighthearted text.

Download image ↓

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Commentary:
"Just honing my 'rock-paper-scissors' skills to a professional level! 🪨📄✂️😎 #OutdoorPro"

activity, childhood, fun, fun activity, gap, humor, joke, outdoor, outdoor play, outside, play, playing, playing outside, resume

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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Messenger this month:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

79 shares on Slack this month:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

11 shares on Slack this month:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

67 shares on Discord this month:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

84 shares on Facebook this month:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Spotted on Snapchat:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Breaking via Messenger:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Breaking via WeChat:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Live now on Telegram:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Trending via Reddit:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Windmill? Big fan.

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Windmill? Big fan.

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨