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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

20 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Spotted on TikTok:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Just shared via Messenger:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Reported on TikTok:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Reported on LinkedIn:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Making waves on Threads:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Breaking via Reddit:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Just shared via Instagram:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

4 months ago

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like someone's resume is out of this world! 🚀🌌 It seems like the space bar had a mind of its own and decided to take a few breaks between words. Gaps in your resume? More like gaps in the galaxy! Who knew a tiny button could cause interstellar mayhem? 🌠🪐

bar, employment, gaps, humor, job, job search, resume, search, space, space bar

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

20 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Twitch:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Just landed via Slack:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Live now on Twitch:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Reported on Instagram:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Making waves on YouTube:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Making waves on Slack:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Just landed via Threads:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Spotted on Reddit:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Just shared via Instagram:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

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