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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,269

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Just landed via Slack:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Just landed via Pinterest:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Live now on X:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Just landed via Slack:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh great, just what I needed—stress pimples, the sequel 🤦‍♂️😂 #SkincareGoals

acne, body, emotion, enjoy, health, here, human, human body, humor, incredible, oh, sad, sadness, skin, stress

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

0

2 months ago

acknowledgment, back, compliment, humor, interaction, irony, person, sarcasm, self-awareness, should, social, social interaction, take, upon, well
3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

0

4 months ago

1, 3, app, apps, concerning, drink, drinks, enough, friend, friends, health, information, mental, mental health, movie, movie theater, text, texting, theater
Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

0

2 months ago

acting, comedy, humor, job, let, motivation, never, prevent, unemployed, unemployment, work
But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

0

5 months ago

contradiction, good, humor, i, me, preference, relationship, self-awareness, someone, want
Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

0

2 months ago

desire, humor, i, men, relationships, sarcasm, suffer, suffering, want
Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

0

2 months ago

awkward, embarrassment, funny situation, gender, gender reveal, humor, naked, only, party, reveal, situation, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Instagram this month:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

23 shares on X this month:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

72 shares on Discord this month:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Shared recently on Discord:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Going viral on Telegram:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Spotted on YouTube:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Just shared via Slack:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Going viral on Reddit:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨