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Ah, the classic male ritual of affirming authority over life's trivial matters by cinching those trousers higher 😂👖💪 It's the ultimate power move in the world of fashion and decision-making!

after, behavior, decision, funny behavior, humor, making, masculine, masculine urge, minor, minor decision, pants, urge

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

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The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

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Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

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Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

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“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

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Wake me up when I’m rich!

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I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

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Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

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This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

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Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

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Shared recently on Reddit:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Live now on WhatsApp:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Seen just now on Discord:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Reported on Facebook:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Just landed via TikTok:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

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But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

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The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

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“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

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I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

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The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

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Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

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Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

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People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

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“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

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The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

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