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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,605

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The government even made aliens boring.

Spotted on WeChat:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Making waves on Slack:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Live now on Messenger:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Trending via Threads:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’m running out of people I like.

Just landed via Threads:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Just landed via Threads:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Going viral on Reddit:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

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The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.
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Commentary:
Sounds like they took a wrong turn at Albuquerque! 🚀🛸🌌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

34 shares on Telegram this month:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

92 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,300

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Spotted on X:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Making waves on Twitch:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Making waves on Facebook:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Trending via TikTok:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Making waves on Facebook:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Seen just now on Discord:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

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