Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Just landed via Discord:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Spotted on Instagram:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Just shared via X:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Making waves on Reddit:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Just shared via X:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like I'm doomed to be hilariously lucky at this rate! 🍀😂🎯

effort, humor, i, improvement, luck, motivation, practice, skill, success

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

3 months ago

contradiction, exercise, fitness, good, humor, swimming, whale
I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

2 months ago

brain, drive, forget, humor, i, swear, swear word, word, words
Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

2 months ago

brevity, communication, humor, just, lol, move, move on, online, online communication, reaction, say, simplicity
If every day is a gift, today is socks.

2 months ago

daily, daily life, day, every, everyday, gift, humor, humor quote, life, sarcasm, socks, today
There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

2 months ago

celery, celery stalk, cold, cold soup, comfort, comfort food, drink, even, food, humor, ice, little, nothing, over, quirky, quirky drink, soothe, soul, soup, stalk, tomato, tomato soup, vodka
I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

2 months ago

chores, doing, humor, i, laundry, me, no one, procrastination, relatable

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

28 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Shared recently on Discord:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Just shared via Facebook:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Going viral on Telegram:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Live now on Twitch:

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

Just landed via Twitch:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Seen just now on Instagram:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨