Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,383

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Going viral on X:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Just shared via Facebook:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Making waves on WeChat:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Live now on Snapchat:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Spotted on Threads:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Humorous text about autocorrect mishaps, expressing playful frustration with a witty tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the irony of autocorrect turning 'hell' into 'hello' strikes again! 🔥😂 Looks like the inventor got a taste of their own medicine there! #autocorrectfail

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

58 shares on TikTok this month:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I can show you the stars, we just have to stand up really fast.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

January: the Monday of months.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Going bananas on Reddit:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Trending via Instagram:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Going viral on Slack:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Going viral on Discord:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Just shared via Threads:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Trending via Pinterest:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Seen just now on Facebook:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Just landed via Threads:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

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